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Monday, May 07, 2007

So this fairly recent post by MonkeyPants caught my attention and I feel compelled to offer up a retort. MP -- while the guy you were IMing with clearly fits a very sad profile, I don't think it is fair to lump him into generalizations about most men that date younger women. If we are going to talk in generalities, I see a different side to this. In my experience, I have seen the younger woman as the far more active-pursuant of the older-man than vice versa. Daddy issues aside, most of the women I have met in my lifetime have always seemed to prefer being with someone older. This indirectly coerces the man into choosing a younger woman - partly because a woman in the same age-range is just not as interested most of the time. Also, the men I know that have gone for much younger women would just rather not deal with the increasing irrationality of a woman who has 'been through the rounds' and has a growing 'list' of preferences, amongst other issues. It has far less to do with physical appearance than you think. While I understand the twice-age discrepencies frustrate older women into thinking they are less desirable, I believe they should really focus on the source of this discontent, and make themselves more available (short of whoring-themselves, of course). Generally speaking, men tend to go for relationships that require far-less work. A female friend of mine that I read the blog with noted: "She's generalizing though... and personally, reading this blog, she sounds jealous. She gives the young woman no credit for having a brain. She is in fact insulting her own gender." . Valid point, because there are quite a few 20somethings that would outclass some of the angry 30-40somethings I have heard kvetch over what is beginning to sound like a very tired topic.

So with that said, I want to try something out. What if I offered this nonsense up in a similar fashion --

Ladies, just so you know, you look silly as well. We know YOU are the true commitment-phobes and quite possibly choose the older guy because you know he hasn't the time for your sophisticated games and manipulations anyway. You love the challenge. And you love complaining when you are released into the free-agent pool in favor of the chirpy 20-something. You've also bought into the phony culture of men being refined when sprouting grays.

I bet that would feel like crap too and I would instantly be accused for abasing women (along with being labled a misogynist, among other things). My suggestion to those aforementioned ladies is to quit the whining and show the same-aged-man what you've got. Make yourselves available rather than huddling with your aging posse in the corner to generalize. I am sure anyone who is looking for a half-way interesting conversation or, ('gasp', dare I say) relationship would agree with me.

Postscript: No offense, MP, I am a fan of your quips and I am not out to cold-diss you or anything. Just thought I'd share thoughts in hopes of instigating a decent debate about it.